Dear Constant Reader,
Last night I slept fitfully, due to an injury, and I had one of those dreams. You know, when you have to take a test that you know nothing about or you have to make a presentation but you forgot your pants.
In this dream I was performing in Dita’s show (that’s how you know it was a dream). I was going to be performing my new peacock fan act (that’s a real thing — see it on Valentine’s Day). Things started a little rocky because I had forgotten my lovely Glorious Pasties, and frantically rummaged around the dressing rooms until I found an acceptable pair.
I was waiting backstage, dressed in rehearsal clothes — leggings, t-shirt, and fleecy socks — when I realized intermission was over. No one had given us a 5 minute warning or a “places” call. My music was starting and my backup dancers were on-stage doing their thing.
I remember frantically tearing off my socks, but realizing putting on my shoes would take too long. I ran into another room and began searching for my fans. Someone thought it would be cute to hand me two large *cans* (of peaches I think). I finally found my fans and rushed out onto stage where my backup dancers had been improvising and had the audience roaring with laughter. Somehow I got through the rest of the act in bare feet and rehearsal clothes (I can’t remember if I was in makeup or not) with the audience laughing the whole time.
I guess the burlesque equivalent of the dream of being naked in public is being on stage with clothes on.